This weekend I am going yurting on the Oregon Coast near Florence, and while I will have full access to all the modern amenities, something about roughin’ it out there reminded me of this piece I wrote.

In an attempt to get into the mindset of the great outdoors and thoroughly embracing all that being outside implies, I give you:

 

An Ode to Peeing Outdoors
Let’s face it. Peeing outside is just better than anywhere else you have the opportunity to pee. It’s manly, it’s rugged and it’s a little dirty. And that’s why we love it.
For some reason, it’s no longer socially acceptable to urinate outdoors unless you’re in the wilderness, or if you really really have to go and can’t hold it any longer.
I’ll tell you a secret. It’s not that I can’t wait until I’m inside- honestly I could probably hold it if I had to. I would just rather go outside.

Why? Because it’s there. And because I can.

 

 

Well, enjoy your weekends, all!

Has anyone else seen this commercial (often intermittently played oh Hulu between episodes of Arrested Development and Square Pegs) that claims it will give you longer, fuller lashes? Brooke Shields stars, and check it out:

Now wait just a minute. Pay close attention to the medical warnings, which begin around :27. It starts out with concerns over eye pressure. When I think of problems with eye pressure, I immediately worry that my eyes will deflate in their sockets and dribble down my face- and this isn’t even the worst side effect. Oh no, you can also worry about darkening of the eyelids- which may or may not be permanent, as well as possibly permanent darkening of the iris.

Yikes.

If you’re having to write warnings about eye pressure and skin and eye discoloration, perhaps it’s time to invest in a little further research rather than a celebrity endorsement. Just sayin’.

In honor of the upcoming release of Maurice Sendak and Spike Jonze’s new film, Where the Wild Things Are, I tried my hand at creating my own home-made Wild Thing. The materials are a bit eclectic. There was no road map to where I was planning to go, but here it is: