Battle of the Nerds

Most of you out there who know me can probably guess (or have seen first-hand) that I’m a nerd. I accidentally quote Lord of the Rings too often for this to not be the case. This nerdiness often leads to an unhealthy fixation on pretty unimportant stuff, and one argument in particular has really stuck in my craw: Han Solo vs Indiana Jones. Two cult classic heroes, both portrayed by a young Harrison Ford. The battle breaks down like this:

The basics:

Indiana Jones is first and foremost a scholar. He is a professor of Archaeology, a member of the OSS, and an adventurer. He uses his deep knowledge of ancient cultures and languages to solve the mysteries of the ages. He finds treasure and puts it in museums. Essentially, he is a roguish nerd known for quippy one-liners, his fear of snakes, and getting the girl. What’s not to like?

Han Solo, on the other hand, has a less high-minded vocation. He is a smuggler and a mercenary. When we first meet him in Episode IV, he is in trouble for dropping his cargo at the first sign of the Federation. So maybe he isn’t that great at smuggling? Later joins the rebellion, develops a sense of doing what is right versus what is best for him as an individual. Is a scoundrel. Sarcastic wit. Materialist. Reluctant to help others when there is no indication that it will benefit him.

The women:

Accomplishments:

The bad things that happen to them:

The bad additions to their franchises:

(and this isn’t even counting all the animated movies!)

So Indie wins with the ladies, does the most for humanity, and manages to make even a bow-tie sexy.

Rematch? I think not:

So now I leave it to you folks- Indie or Han?